[Mystic Meg, for overseas readers, predicts the balls for the national lottery - a moggie is a cat!]
CAPRICORN (Dec 22 - Jan 20)
You take a crap job to avoid JSA hassle, only to find the JSA flops due to claimant and staff resistance. The fun starts when you find out half your workmates are in the same situation.
AQUARIUS (Jan 21 - Feb 19)
Labour win the election and make everything nice again. Arsenal do the double. You Aquarians like a good joke!
PISCES (Feb 20 - March 20)
You vote Green as a protest only to find they win in your area and declare autonomy. Benefits are replaced by a LETS scheme, meaning you have to work, and the only things you can get in return are brown rice and jugglers.
ARIES (March 21 - April 20)
v After your best friend is badly injured in a bike accident, you smash up your car, starting a craze. You lead a march on Dagenham, where, after fights with security and discussion with the workers, the plant is placed under community control making hi-tech mobile homes and chocolate biscuits.
TAURUS (April 21 - May 21)
Your kid's nursery is occupied in response to cuts, and you move in with all your friends. Industry is brought to a halt by under-5s flying pickets.
GEMINI (May 22 - June 21)
You spend the year touring road protests. At full moon in July with Venus in your starsign, you'll have a bath.
CANCER (June 22 - July 23)
You and your workmates decide that if the bosses want casual labour, they'll get casual labour. It's nearly a week before you notice they've relocated to Indonesia.
LEO (July 24 - Aug 23)
You will travel the world visiting the Zapatistas and attending international conferences and mobilisations. When Mars enters your starsign in October you'll come home to find the 121 centre exactly the same.
VIRGO (Aug 24 - Sept 23)
After a few difficult months, you finally hack into the secret CIA computer and reveal their plans on the Internet. Later you make a guest appearance on the X Files.
LIBRA (Sept 24 - Oct 23)
You get sued for libel by Brixton Wholefoods and spend the year in court.
SCORPIO (Oct 24 - Nov 22)
You and your mates storm parliament and hang all the politicians from the flagpole. Then you wake up and find embarrassing sticky patches.
SAGITARIUS (Nov 23 - Dec 21)
Sorry my crystal ball's been repossessed cos I couldn't keep up with the payments. I hadn't even finished reading the instruction manual. Where are all the tall dark handsome strangers?